The First Frontier

Equal opportunity dungeon dwelvers

“So what do these … devices… do?” Asher asked Luke, moving a piece of metal from the last device that Luke’s construct had pounded to destruction.
“Outerplanar plumbing. For when beings such as these get … stopped up.” Luke answered smoothly. Orgutz used one of the pieces of metal to pick his nose.

Luke looked around the room. “We should go that way.” he gestured towards a passage out of the room. The constructs were already storming down the corridor, Michael, Face Smasha, and Orgutz close behind.

Rounding a bend, the group spotted a large demon, leaning against the wall, idly sharpening his claws on the wall. Or playing tick tack toe. It was hard to tell.
“You chaps really do need to stop destroying everything you come across. The alarms alone are enough to give anyone a roaring headache.” the demon stated, with a rather cultured and proper voice. The demon pulls something out of a pouch, pops it in his mouth, then takes a swig from a silvered flask. Putting these away, he pulls a piece of paper out and hands it to Michael. “A cease and desist order.” He paused, to let the laughter die down, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He skipped the formal introductions. These prime material planers would never understand, nor appreciate the details of his firm’s legal victories.

“My clients are very concerned…” another pause as the giggling resumed, “with the damage you have inflicted on the life support system that is in their care. This cease and desist order…” the interruptions were getting really tedious “is aimed to minimize the damage you barbarians are inflicting.” He popped more of the magic pills his latest mistress had give him. While the blue ones had their uses, the ones from Ty’linol really did wonders for his headache.

The tactical officers also believe that what you want is down this hallway. He quickly sketched out the route to the fey, who at least seemed to understand the lawfulness of the legal system that demon law firm he represented followed.

Satisfied that the locals would go bother someone more deserving of their attention, the demoninc process server teleported to his next task. Time to evict some dwarves from their dingy and dank caverns. The day was looking up.

The next group that was encountered were what Sybaris called Incubi. Related to Succubi, apparently. They used their beauty to seduce the unwary. But, like all of the outer planar scum, they fell swiftly to the power of construct supported evil destruction that the heroes were.

They repeated their performance with the next set of Incubi that they encountered. The larger brothers of the first set. While little serious damage was done, (knocking Michael on his butt besides the point) the group was starting to drag their feet. This was tiring work, and something about the last batch of outsiders really tuckered them out. Face Smasha fondled the stuffed teddy bear that Luke’s daughter Beatrice had given him. But he doubted the boss was going to allow them to stop for a snack and nap.

The band entered another chamber, in the heart of the temple. Literally A giant heart was chained at the top of the chamber. And some elemental of a size never seen before (and made out of several different elementals) stood before them. Their usual tactic of charging their opponents to death nullified, they resorted to their back up plan. Swinging their weapons, they engaged the elemental. With a mighty blow, Sybaris broke the elemental into its component parts. Which fared as well as their predecessors did.

Wiping their collective brows, the mighty heroes looked around (and up) the chamber. Only then did they notice the large group of undead, who were stopping their efforts (pumping some fluids into the heart, by the looks of it) and turning their attention to them.

“I thought this was going too well.” Face sidelined to Orgutz.



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